The tummy island is very slowly sinking back into the bathwaterby Wendell Steavenson / May 22, 2014 / Leave a comment
Published in June 2014 issue of Prospect Magazine
There are two kinds of diet: the one where you eat and the one where you don’t eat. The one I practise everyday is the everything diet. No food is bad, no food is forbidden or taboo. I am lucky: I have a steady metabolism, no allergies, no particular cravings, nor a sweet tooth. Farm fresh or junk, both are beloved and happily scoffed. I am very fond of Frazzles bacon-flavoured crisps, especially when paired with Lucozade, but I almost never buy prepared or processed food in the supermarket. I will go through a phase of eating peas with mint and raw apples, and yet I often sing the praises of McDonald’s.
But, you get a little older, you get a little thicker around the middle. Stealthy pounds crept up the scale that I had stopped stepping on for a whole year. Squashy crescents were escaping over the top of my jeans, I could barely get into the dress I bought three years ago, and when I lay in the bath my tummy stuck up out of the water like an island. I was, like pretty much everyone, a stone heavier than I wanted to be. More importantly, I didn’t feel good about it and I didn’t feel good about myself.
Finally, last month, after eating ramen noodles three times a day for a week, some kind of self-control switch clicked—stop! And so, for the past four weeks, I have been on “the Wendy diet.” The other kind of diet, the one where you don’t eat. Very much.