Prodi backs Chirac
As the Iraq crisis unfolds, the people paid to promote the image of Romano Prodi are trying hard to make their man seem relevant. He's having dinner with Vladimir Putin, they announce proudly, to widespread yawns. He believes it's important that the EU should maintain its unity, they say, to widespread amazement. In some ways, however, it is a shame that Prodi's pronouncements are not attracting more attention, because they are characteristically bizarre. Admittedly, the "Prodi gaffe" has become such a staple of Brussels discourse that new ones are barely noted. But the commission president, far from maintaining impartiality between member states, is not leaving many doubts about where he stands in the battle between the Franco-German axis and the "new Europeans."
In a recent interview with the Corriere della Sera, Prodi claimed (inaccurately) that the EU had maintained a united front until the famous pro-American "letter of eight," signed by the British, Italians, Spaniards, Poles and others. His reaction to Jacques Chirac's denunciation of the "badly brought-up" central Europeans was also extraordinary. Rather than suggesting that it might be inappropriate for one European head of state to tell others to "shut up," Prodi all but endorsed Chirac's outburst, saying that he too had been "saddened" by the central Europeans' decision to express their opinions.
Yet more shitty little countries
You will recall the controversy about the former French ambassador to London and his alleged slur on that "shitty little country," Israel. Ever since, there has been an argument about whether Daniel Bernard actually said the offending words, and whether this proved him to be an antisemite. Circumstantial evidence gathered in Brussels suggests that a) yes he did say it but b) it was a remark that reflected general French hauteur, rather than a specific animus towards the Jews. How so, you ask? Well, while discussing the Chirac central Europe outburst with Eurocrats, your correspondent was informed that this was typical of official France's attitude to the small new states of the EU. One very senior French official routinely refers to such countries as "petits pays de merde" - or shitty little countries. It turns out to be the standard term of abuse for any small country which has the misfortune not to be France.
Nato pensions shock
The recent row over whether Nato should send some protective weaponry to Turkey got so heated that it has left many wondering whether Nato might disappear altogether in the not-too-distant future. This is a particularly personal worry for many of the permanent staff at Nato headquarters in Brussels. One senior official confides that, at the height of the crisis, he and some of his colleagues took time off to check on their pension arrangements. They made the disquieting discovery that Nato pensions are entirely unfunded and work on a pay-as-you-go system. In other words: no Nato, no pension. Unsurprisingly, this encouraged them to redouble their efforts to find consensus.
At the height of the Nato row, your correspondent found himself at a dinner party which included the French and British ambassadors to Nato. As ever, there is no place so calm as the eye of the storm. Despite the fact that the French and the British had spent the last few days bashing each other over the head around the conference table, the atmosphere was convivial. But then again diplomats have a marvellous ability to make sentences like "that is a complete travesty of history" sound no more offensive than "pass the butter, old boy."
Europe's sick joke
People who choose to work for the EU are usually cheerfully internationalist. But the split over Iraq has made Eurocrats rather more aware of their colleagues' nationalities. One official who works on the foreign policy side says, "you can almost see thought bubbles above people's heads when French and British officials talk about Iraq-perfidious Albion, cheese-eating surrender monkey... that sort of thing." Even the most ardent defenders of the drive for a "common foreign and security policy" acknowledge that the idea is looking like a sick joke at the moment. That is awkward because the European constitutional convention was meant to be launching into a discussion of foreign policy around now. But the risk of looking ridiculous-always fairly high with the convention-has persuaded the powers-that-be to delay this discussion until May. The hope is that by then the Iraq crisis will have passed and everybody will be ready to dedicate themselves anew to a common foreign policy.
Spain and Italy - where next?
For all the talk about the pro-American leanings of the central Europeans, the real coup for the British was persuading the Spanish and the Italians to break with the habits of the past and resist falling in line with a Franco-German initiative. But this foreign policy breakthrough could prove fragile. While there is a left-right coalition in Britain to shore up Blair's policy, Italy and Spain are split along left-right lines over Iraq and, by extension, over relations with the US. If and when the Berlusconi and Aznar governments give way to left-of-centre governments, Italy and Spain will move back into the Franco-German camp over foreign policy - and Blair's situation within Europe will become even more uncomfortable.
