• Home
  • About us
  • Contact Us
  • Date/Time
  • Login
  • Subscribe

logo

  • Home
  • Politics
  • Economics & Finance
  • World
  • Arts & Books
  • Life
  • Science
  • Philosophy
  • Subscribe
  • Events
Home
  • Home
  • Blogs
  • Politics
  • Economics & Finance
  • World
  • Arts & Books
  • Life
  • Science
  • Philosophy
  • Subscribe
  • Events
  • Home
  • Magazine

Life of the mind: Is it me?

Some you win. Some you lose. You can’t make someone stay in therapy.

by Anna Blundy / February 19, 2015 / Leave a comment
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkedin
  • Email

Edvard_Munch_-_Melancholy_(1894-96)

I lost a patient the other day. He didn’t die or anything; he just emailed to say he didn’t want to come any more. “No! Wait! Why?” I wanted to shout. “It was going so well! You told me all that horrific stuff you’ve never told anyone before. We haven’t even got going yet!” It was like being dumped by email after a few intense and moving dates. I wrote back saying that of course I understand how hard therapy can be; I know how important it is to feel a sense of autonomy, but I think we should meet to discuss his reasons for leaving or at least to say goodbye. No reply.

I remember the same thing happening to someone in my first supervision group. He’d waited longer than anyone to get a patient. Week after week he’d turn up to listen to our smug session notes and week after week he’d be told that nobody suitable had come up for him yet. I heard one supervisor say: “The patients getting referred for NHS psychotherapy are much iller nowadays. Not suitable for a trainee.” Psychiatric units are closing and the open ones are full, so patients who might once have qualified as in-patients are now coming for weekly therapy. Nobody is going to let a trainee loose on them.

This trainee reminded me of a student on my Psychoanalytic Theory course who couldn’t find a baby for observation. Baby observation is supposed to be good practice for becoming a therapist—picking up unspoken communication and, sometimes, creating a feeling of safety for both the mother and the baby. It’s a nightmare for male trainees because not many new mums want some silent bloke in their house staring at their child. This babyless student started accosting pregnant women in supermarkets trying to find someone.

Anyway, finally the trainee got a patient. He was nervous and excited and a supervision session was spent on how he should approach the initial meeting, how to make the offer of therapy, what to wear (a tie), how much time to allow and so on.

The patient stopped coming after three sessions. At the time we talked a lot about why patients leave therapy, how some people just can’t face the scrutiny and the intimacy. We nodded understandingly and made encouraging throaty noises where appropriate. Our gently…

YOU’VE HIT THE LIMIT

You have now reached your limit of 3 free articles in the last 30 days.
But don’t worry! You can get another 7 articles absolutely free, simply by entering your email address in the box below.

When you register we’ll also send you a free e-book—Writing with punch—which includes some of the finest writing from our archive of 22 years. And we’ll also send you a weekly newsletter with the best new ideas in politics and philosophy of culture, which you can of course unsubscribe from at any time







Prospect may process your personal information for our legitimate business purposes, to provide you with our newsletter, subscription offers and other relevant information.

Click to learn more about these interests and how we use your data. You will be able to object to this processing on the next page and in all our communications.

3025507875df1c4af8d0e84.11435047

Go to comments

Related articles

Mental health report: how to deliver parity of esteem with physical conditions
Tom Clark / October 9, 2019
We’ve faced it—now let’s fix it
Mental health report: early intervention is key
Barbara Keeley / October 9, 2019
Half of all mental health conditions start before age 14
Share with friends
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkedin
  • Email

Comments

No comments yet

Prospect's free newsletter

The big ideas that are shaping our world—straight to your inbox. PLUS a free e-book and 7 articles of your choosing on the Prospect website.

Prospect may process your personal information for our legitimate business purposes, to provide you with our newsletter, subscription offers and other relevant information. Click here to learn more about these purposes and how we use your data. You will be able to opt-out of further contact on the next page and in all our communications.

This Month's Magazine

Perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus.

Inside the choice facing voters this General Election—and why the commission that regulates our democracy is struggling to keep up. Plus: Clive James on Wittgenstein, and the real story of Corbynism

Subscribe

Most Popular

  • Read
  • Commented

The sinister threat to human rights buried in the Conservative manifesto

The weather won't affect Thursday's general election result—or will it?

Ivan Rogers on Brexit: the worst is yet to come

3 Comments

John le Carré's post-Cold War vision is shot through with a sense of longing

2 Comments

How dare those signed up to hard Brexit lecture Labour on the economy?

2 Comments

Could this psychological theory explain why we’ll never let Brexit go?

1 Comments

Remembering Ella Bergmann-Michel, an artist who showed how fascism lurks in the everyday

1 Comments

About this author

Anna Blundy
Anna Blundy is a writer in training to be a psychotherapist. The situation described above is composite and confidentiality has not been breached
  • Follow on:
  • Twitter
More by this author

More by Anna Blundy

Sympathy for the sex addict
September 26, 2018
When it comes to mental health, the best strategy can be to have no strategy
July 16, 2018
Why are so many unhappy women obsessed with their own bodies?
June 16, 2018

Next Prospect events

  • Details

    Prospect Book Club - David Lammy

    London, 2020-03-19

  • Details

    Prospect Book Club - Jack Shenker

    2020-02-17

  • Details

    Prospect Book Club - Amelia Gentleman

    2020-01-27

See more events

Sponsored features

  • Delivering the UK's invisible infrastructure project

  • Future of Aid: the full report

  • A forest fund for the future

  • A new humanitarianism for the modern age

  • The future of sustainable economic development

PrimeTime

The magazine is owned and supported by the Resolution Group, as part of its not-for-profit, public interest activities.

Follow us
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google+
  • RSS

Editorial

Editor: Tom Clark
Deputy Editor: Steve Bloomfield
Managing Editor (Arts & Books): Sameer Rahim
Head of Digital: Stephanie Boland
Digital Assistant: Rebecca Liu
Production Editor & Designer: Chris Tilbury
Commissioning Editor: Alex Dean
Creative Director: Mike Turner
US Writer-at-Large: Sam Tanenhaus

Commercial

Commercial Director: Alex Stevenson
Head of Marketing: Paul Mortimer
Marketing and Circulation Executive: Susan Acan
Head of Events: Victoria Jackson
Events Project Manager: Nadine Prospere
Head of Advertising Sales: Adam Kinlan 020 3372 2934
Senior Account Manager: Patrick Lappin 020 3372 2931
Head of Finance and Resources: David de Lange

  • Home
  • Advertising
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Acceptable Use Policy
© Prospect Publishing Limited
×
Login
Login with your subscriber account:
You need a valid subscription to login.
I am
Remember Me


Forgotten password?

Or enter with social networking:
Login to post comments using social media accounts.
  • With Twitter
  • Connect
  • With Google +
×
Register Now

Register today and access any 7 articles on the Prospect’s website for FREE in the next 30 days..
PLUS find out about the big ideas that will shape our world—with Prospect’s FREE newsletter sent to your inbox. We'll even send you our e-book—Writing with punch—with some of the finest writing from the Prospect archive, at no extra cost!

Not Now, Thanks

Prospect may process your personal information for our legitimate business purposes, to provide you with our newsletter, subscription offers and other relevant information.

Click to learn more about these interests and how we use your data. You will be able to object to this processing on the next page and in all our communications.

×
You’ve got full access!

It looks like you are a Prospect subscriber.

Prospect subscribers have full access to all the great content on our website, including our entire archive.

If you do not know your login details, simply close this pop-up and click 'Login' on the black bar at the top of the screen, then click 'Forgotten password?', enter your email address and press 'Submit'. Your password will then be emailed to you.

Thank you for your support of Prospect and we hope that you enjoy everything the site has to offer.

This site uses cookies to improve the user experience. By using this site, you agree that we can set and use these cookies. For more details on the cookies we use and how to manage them, see our Privacy and Cookie Policy.