Winners and Losers of the Great Crash

Winners

1) Vince Cable

2) Robert 'Scoop' Peston

3) Sky News (which other news channel ran the FTSE and Dow Jones figures on screen through their bulletins)

4) Jeff Randall

5) Jon Stewart

6) Gordon Brown ('this is no time for novices')

Losers

1) US Treasury Secretary Paulson (shmendrick)

2) President Bush (rabbit in the headlights award)

3) Jeremy 'Figures' Paxman

4) Stephanie Flanders (where is she when we need her?)

5) Shadow Chancellor (while Cameron was being all statesmanlike at Birmingham, George just couldn't stop himself, all smirks and no substance)

6) Iceland