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Simon’s dad Pete came to Only Connect once and I caught him skinning up in the kitchen. Pete’s an inspiration. He used to have a chain of ecstasy factories in nondescript Scottish houses, but he’s done legitimate business too. When Simon was 14, in the last recession, Pete taught him how to get your enterprise out of trouble. They poured petrol all over the gym, dropped a match and watched it go.

When Simon was 21, he was living in his own £1m flat in Pimlico. Then he was in the Old Bailey, with his dad as co-defendant, but Pete…

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