Brexiteers need Remainers, Capitalism needed Communism—and vice versaby Anna Blundy / January 25, 2018 / Leave a comment
Published in February 2018 issue of Prospect Magazine
“I am going to have to sack him, but I know everyone will hate me,” the patient told me at the end of quite a manic Skype session in which she detailed her handyman’s failings which, she feels, endanger herself and her family. This man has been working for foreigners in this particular block of flats in Oman for more than 20 years and the whole community is fond of him. Lately he has been working only for my patient and her family.
She is generally very anxious and has felt unsafe all her life. She is hypervigilant and always ready for the worst eventuality. She grew up in a very strict household, constantly worried that punishment was about to ensue for some oversight in her many duties or some misdemeanour she’d inadvertently committed.
This atmosphere of fear has pursued her relentlessly and is now mainly embodied in a controlling and angry husband to whom she is utterly obedient, down to how clothes must be folded. Usually keen to describe fantasies of leaving him, this week she told me how they had a really good talk and are united in their decision to get rid of the handyman.
Here are a few of the things she said about him: “He is in the house all the time making me feel unsafe”; “I don’t think he realises how the things he does impact on me and the boys”; “He criticised how I am with the boys and that’s just not on”; “It’s uncomfortable having him around.”
I said she could easily be talking about her husband. She laughed at first and then said; “You’re saying I’m getting rid of the wrong guy?”
Actually, this was exactly what I was thinking. It seemed to me to be classic “in group” vs “out group” behaviour, a projection of everything negative in the family’s life onto the handyman so that, in getti…