Both my lines of work expose me to being reviewed. My writing is reviewed by readers and amateur critics on places like Goodreads, and by professionals in newspapers. I am also reviewed by clients in my capacity as a sex worker, in online forums such as the notorious Punter Planet. I steadfastly refuse to read any of them, after making the mistake of reading both my escort and book reviews in lockdown in 2021. Unlike creative friends of mine who constantly find themselves tempted and curious, I am firmly of the belief that what people have to say about my work or myself is none of my business. I don’t think reading them improves my professionalism or my skills. Rather, it hampers my authenticity and makes me overthink everything.
The role of the critic in the arts is contentious. British producer and pop star Charli XCX obliquely said as much when she wore a shirt that read: “They don’t build statues of critics.” I believe that by putting anything in the public sphere you are allowing public comment, however I have no respect for people who critique art without any artistic output of their own, who constantly consume and judge without any return contribution. I have no interest in your public opinion until you have made yourself vulnerable by offering up your own work for discussion, as it is very easy to opine but much harder to give something of yourself over to the eyes of many. If all you can give the world is takedowns, I begin to wonder if you have anything of actual value to offer. I also think that the best reviews are those that reckon with the reviewer’s own life, and why they may have responded the way they did, rather than having any pretence at being objective.
I personally don’t review others’ work, though I am often asked to, because I consider it would be hypocritical of me when I don’t like my own work being reviewed. I do think there is a place for criticism in the ecosystem of the arts, that that I am not the right person to engage with it. I believe it is a somewhat unnatural and unhealthy aspect of this modern world that you can have access to thousands of people’s thoughts on your work. Before the internet, the only way to know another person’s opinion was if they took the time to approach you in person, sent you a letter in the mail or published one in print. I certainly don’t think people are making better art now by virtue of being able to read more responses to it. I recently listened to a podcast with the American drag queen Jinx Monsoon, in which she expressed a similar sentiment; she spoke about the downsides of fame and commented that “getting notes from 300 strangers” was not conducive to her artistic practice.
The reviewing of me as an escort is another question entirely. Firstly, I don’t think it is fair game for a private sexual interaction to be written about publicly if the parties are identifiable or named. Secondly, I think the culture of men reviewing women and their bodies is inherently misogynistic and dehumanising, treating us as a product. Thirdly, I don’t believe that one client’s sexual encounter with you is indicative of future encounters with other clients, as sex is not a scientific equation with a guaranteed outcome but rather an interaction between two (or more) people that is unique to the dynamic between them, and to that moment in time. There are just too many variables for one booking to have any bearing on another.
I state on my advertisements that I do not wish to be reviewed, even positively, for these reasons. Many escorts encourage reviews to generate more income, but I think it is unethical to review human beings in that way. Given that escort review forums are hotbeds of doxing and the sharing of private information about women, I am in full support of Australian escort Dallas Rayne’s campaign to have them shut down. I agree that they endanger women in the industry.
My experiences in both my professions have given me a distaste for reviews in general, and I will continue to refrain from reading my own or writing any about others. Though perhaps if I held my opinions in such high regard that I felt I could contribute positively to someone’s art, I would feel differently.
