Society

In departing the royal family, Prince Harry has shown one form of loyalty

Most of us face a crossroads moment at some point—where we can choose to remain where we are or forge a new path. The Sussexes found they had to leave

March 16, 2021
Photo: Alamy Stock Photo
Photo: Alamy Stock Photo

In well-run organisations, the so-called “exit interview” given by a departing employee can sometimes provide useful information to help those in charge make necessary changes. The 61-word response from Buckingham Palace to Harry and Meghan’s two-hour interview with Oprah Winfrey does not reveal what—if any—changes the royal family is ready to make.

The “whole family” was “saddened to learn the full extent of how challenging the last few years have been for Harry and Meghan,” the statement began. Look at that sentence again. At face value, it suggests that some, if not all, members of the immediate family did not know how the Duke and Duchess of Sussex had been feeling. But this is a bit odd. There have been discussions—negotiations—between both sides about the nature of future working (and family) relationships. Was the family really unaware of what the young couple were going through? Perhaps they were. Or perhaps that opening statement is disingenuous.

“The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning,” the statement continued. “While some recollections may vary, they are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately.” Some took delight in that careful phrase about varying recollections, regarding it as a sly put-down. The key word here, though, is “privately.” It is none of our business. And we may never learn how (or if) these very concerning issues will be addressed.

The statement finished on an apparently warmer note: “Harry, Meghan and Archie will always be much loved family members.”

In 1970 the economist Albert Hirschman published a paper, called “Exit, Voice and Loyalty,” in which he considered the choices that people (e.g. employees and customers) might make when faced with deteriorating circumstances. You can try to use your voice to speak up, and display loyalty. Or, if you feel powerless to change things and are discouraged by what you see, you can simply exit.

Prince Harry has been facing a dilemma which will be familiar to anyone who has been unhappy at work or troubled by festering family tensions. But he is (or was) part of an institution which survives and flourishes largely because of its resistance to change. Of course the royal family is stiff and old-fashioned. That’s how it is supposed to be. They aren’t modern, and never will be. If you operate according to the hereditary principle, there is a limit as to how much modernity you will ever be able to tolerate.

Look at how differently Harry’s older brother William behaves. He stands still and clenched, bracing himself for responsibilities which he knows are one day heading his way. He is an embodiment of (self-conscious) duty. He rarely uses his voice, and there is no question of exit. He is loyal. Or, as Harry put it, they are on different paths.

Loyalty might also be seen as being a bit old-fashioned, but it shouldn’t be. The real questions are: loyal to what, and to whom? You could argue that while William is being more conventionally loyal to the royal family and its demands, Harry has chosen to be loyal to his wife and, perhaps, the memory of his late mother. Loyalty can take different forms.

The same is true in the world of work. Where once many people hoped to remain employed by the same company all their working lives, today that is a rarity. There is less loyalty on either side—employer or employee. Charles Handy, the management writer, has mused on the advantages of a “portfolio career” of several different jobs over the course of a working life. Would you really want to sit next to a company lifer at a dinner party, he once asked mischievously (presuming you can remember what a dinner party is).

Even if they do not guarantee lifetime employment, the best organisations offer variety and opportunity to learn, and do not force you to operate according to unacceptable values or rules. Even in tough situations you might be able to use your voice and meet your employer halfway. Many of us will face more than one “crossroads” moment in life, where you can carry on as you are or take a different path. But it is a rare organisation that is able to change all that much to accommodate someone very different, particularly if that organisation is already successful.

Prince Harry has made his choice, and his wife Meghan says she feels liberated. Perhaps this royal “conscious uncoupling” will work. To judge by the TV pictures of their new life in California, a weight has been lifted.

Adapt, collaborate, or resist: these are the choices for those who live in an oppressive system. Having tried collaborating, and then adapting, the Sussexes seem ready to resist.