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Watching her

Standing by while my partner performed in the explicit film, Intimacy, I experienced a strange kind of controlled jealousy. I was her voyeur

I got my first serious taste of jealousy when I was 18. Just like falling in love, first time jealousy plunges you deeper into yourself, and is harder to comprehend than any sexual experience that will follow in a lifetime. It is unrepeatable. But of all animal emotions, jealousy is the purest excruciation. It is the knowledge of nearly possessing what you desire most on earth, then watching as someone else enjoys it instead of you. The watching is important, whether real or imagined, because jealousy works its cleverest tricks with visual distortions.

In Shakespeare’s Winter’s Tale, the king, Leontes,…

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