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Government announces controversial plans to shut northern rumour mills

By The Gaffer  

These precious rumours may be this mill's last

This is a guest post from satirical football website The Gaffer

The Conservatives came under fire today after announcing the closure of dozens of unprofitable rumour mills throughout the north of England.

As of tomorrow mills that haven’t generated at least three actual transfers within the last year will go, resulting in hundreds of job losses.

“This is an outrageous move,” said a group of Labour backbenchers in a letter to The Guardian. “What…

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