What does it mean to be engaged?

Dear Wilhemina

A couple of months ago my partner of two years asked me to marry him. I said yes and we are now engaged. In most respects, this new status hasn’t changed anything—we are in no hurry to get married and so haven’t set a date for the wedding yet. However, I am not enjoying the label “engaged” at all. In theory it’s romantic, but I’m not sure what it involves. Is the same sort of fidelity implied as in marriage? Or is it a “lead-up” to a full commitment? How do I interpret it on a day-to-day basis? A few weeks ago, for example, I spent an evening with an ex-boyfriend. One thing led to another and we went well beyond flirting to something much more intimate. How guilty should I feel, considering I’m engaged?

Sarah

Dear Sarah

Well, you are