How to survive election night (and morning)

As we tremulously await the final results of this year's election, join Prospect in raising a glass to the memory of a bizarre campaign–and mug up on some of the hottest talking points.

Through the night and morning you’ll find illumination in the tweets of managing editor James Crabtree, who will be firing off micro-dispatches from inside Prospect’s election party. Also keep an eye on the usual Prospect Twitter feed, which will have live updates from the team.

Anecdotal evidence suggests turnout has been good, but in case you find yourself among the thoroughly disenchanted—the sort of people who won't vote because they claim David Cameron looks like a private gynaecologist—prepare by inwardly rehearsing and understanding their anxieties. Emotions aren’t everything (this is politics, after all), so if you feel Gordon Brown's getting a particularly nasty pasting and feel sorry for him, don’t get too upset–he’s still a hero in America. And if Cameron makes it into Number 10, startle your friends with comprehensive knowledge of his life and times.

Don’t like the sound of either? Prospect itself is fielding a several candidates this year: keep your spirits up with some contributor-spotting. Rushanara Ali, Tristram Hunt, Rory Stewart, and Philippa Stroud (of recent infamy for her comments on homosexuality) are all in the running for the first time this year—hoping join the venerated team of Prospect contributor-MPs, which already includes David "two brains" Willetts, Labour peer Andrew Adonis, and even Gordon Brown himself.

As for the outcome, in the event of a hung parliament you can dazzle companions by half-inching editor David Goodhart’s argument on the ideal result: a Lib-Lab coalition. If they pooh-pooh it, save face by changing the subject to fantasy Cabinet-making.

Above all, talk knowledgeably: of the reinvented Green party, the problems with all parties' education policies, the life of Nick Clegg, and, of course, the unforgettable “bigot-gate.”

All the relevant content, as ever, is on our Election 2010 page. The Prospect team will be back in the morning. Happy election!