Tomorrow, Lent begins, and Britons across the land will half-heartedly attempt to give up for 40 days what they half-heartedly attempted to give up forever at New Year.
Since we're talking broken pledges and over-ambitious intentions, it seems only natural to shift the debate on to politicians. I'm sure Cameron, Miliband and co will all be giving up different things—Osborne already seems to have given up speaking to the media—but here, in no particular order are 11 things it would be best for everyone if politicians and parties all gave up at the same time, at least for the duration of the election campaign.
Let us know any you think we've missed in the comments or on Twitter.
I mean, come on guys:
The need to evade promotions filters has led party mailouts to feature ever more personalised, informal or downright over-familiar subject lines, which leads to this:
This:
and this rather breathless number:
Briefing the press after George Osborne's "dossier" unveiling the alleged cost of Labour's policies at the start of the long campaign, a senior Conservative source was asked whether the party had bothered costing the Lib Dems' election proposals. The response was a derisory smirk. This approach has characterised both main parties' attitude toward the coalition's junior partners—the Tories and Labour have been content to trade barbs while mostly ignoring Westminster's third party. But, fun as it is to leave Cleggers looking sad in the corner, his party could well still hold the balance of power come May—as Peter Kellner argued recently, depending on the performance of local MPs, the Lib Dems could still be a significant force. Their policies need scrutiny and their views need debating—otherwise voters will just have poorly formatted leaflets to go on.
In Douglas Carswell's defence, apparently his 5 year old sent the tweet in error. And, as Politics Home has pointed out, his Theme Park has expanded significantly since the first time he made this mistake. That's what you call iDemocracy.
Actually scratch that. All politicians should play Hello Kitty World. Probably better than Candy Crush.
Since we're talking broken pledges and over-ambitious intentions, it seems only natural to shift the debate on to politicians. I'm sure Cameron, Miliband and co will all be giving up different things—Osborne already seems to have given up speaking to the media—but here, in no particular order are 11 things it would be best for everyone if politicians and parties all gave up at the same time, at least for the duration of the election campaign.
Let us know any you think we've missed in the comments or on Twitter.
1. Dubious statistics
Since the start of the campaign, we've had a dodgy dossier, problematic poverty stats, a slip on the Scottish NHS and more. Plus this wag in the Times letters page doesn't seem sure that Ed Balls can really pay his gardener what he says he does:Lol > RT @montie: A fun @timesletters on Ed Balls and trimming his hedge pic.twitter.com/JcmtC0jCzY
— Dan Byles MP (@danielbyles) February 17, 2015
2. Mutually exclusive claims
I mean, come on guys:
Last weekend Labour said it wouldn't target Cameron in any of its campaign literature/posters. So what is this today? pic.twitter.com/RyEXZai6mW — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) February 4, 2015
The SNP want to prop up Ed Miliband. An SNP vote risks putting Labour back behind the wheel. Vote Eck, get Ed. pic.twitter.com/xkpAvUDaJV — ScotConservatives (@ScotTories) February 4, 2015
3. Directing journalists' questions
This makes CCHQ look like the little weird kids who stood behind the school bully shouting "yeah" and "go on".@Toryhealth@andyburnhammp Please don't tell me what questions to ask to further your political angle. Thanks
— Kay Burley (@KayBurley) January 28, 2015
4. Pretending they're going to win
As pretty much everyone in the political media has argued, from Peter Mandelson to BuzzFeed's political editor, the only thing that's certain about the outcome of this election is that it's uncertain. Another thing that's looking more and more likely is that nobody will win outright—rigorous forecasts from May2015.com and Elections Etc both show neither of the parties winning a majority. Despite this, David Cameron and Ed Miliband have repeatedly dodged questions about where their negotiating red lines would be and whether they're planning to buddy up with anyone. Of course you can't go on Andrew Marr and say "sorry, it all depends what happens on the day," but voters deserve more hints about the ways in which party policy could be affected in different scenarios.5. Referring to "a BuzzFeed" as a unit of content
(credit to @alexhern for pointing this one out)10 (Positive!) Reasons To Vote Conservative. My latest buzzfeed > http://t.co/uc1MrVu2zc
— Grant Shapps MP (@grantshapps) February 6, 2015
What’s Really Happening Inside Syria? Our Buzzfeed explains reality behind some #Syriamythshttp://t.co/qAHyM9clJepic.twitter.com/EaF9l6wwMm — Foreign Office (FCO) (@foreignoffice) February 12, 2015
6. Creepy email subject lines
The need to evade promotions filters has led party mailouts to feature ever more personalised, informal or downright over-familiar subject lines, which leads to this:
Sadiq Khan tells #fab15 Labour has to have different messages for different people. One downside of that: pic.twitter.com/oGnINLqGtz — Stephen Bush (@stephenkb) January 17, 2015
This:
and this rather breathless number:
7. Ignoring Nick Clegg
Briefing the press after George Osborne's "dossier" unveiling the alleged cost of Labour's policies at the start of the long campaign, a senior Conservative source was asked whether the party had bothered costing the Lib Dems' election proposals. The response was a derisory smirk. This approach has characterised both main parties' attitude toward the coalition's junior partners—the Tories and Labour have been content to trade barbs while mostly ignoring Westminster's third party. But, fun as it is to leave Cleggers looking sad in the corner, his party could well still hold the balance of power come May—as Peter Kellner argued recently, depending on the performance of local MPs, the Lib Dems could still be a significant force. Their policies need scrutiny and their views need debating—otherwise voters will just have poorly formatted leaflets to go on.
8. Saying "long term economic plan"
9. Saying "political football"
10. Trying to "connect with voters"
Don't get me wrong—chatting with, listening to, helping, and explaining things you do to voters are all fine. It's when you start "connecting" that the problem arises. Whether it be in a pink bus, on Snapchat or through poorly conceived Twitter Q+As, gimmicks can go very wrong very quickly.11. Hello Kitty World
Come play Hello Kitty World with me! http://t.co/tP6zQOZs2Q#hellokittyworld Strhjffggfhgfg pic.twitter.com/WybQxoJRMy — Douglas Carswell MP (@DouglasCarswell) February 8, 2014
In Douglas Carswell's defence, apparently his 5 year old sent the tweet in error. And, as Politics Home has pointed out, his Theme Park has expanded significantly since the first time he made this mistake. That's what you call iDemocracy.
Actually scratch that. All politicians should play Hello Kitty World. Probably better than Candy Crush.
