We all need something to do for the next 48 hours, while the Tories and the Lib Dems thrash it out. Already a campaign has started on facebook telling the media to “Cool It”, and give the politicians the time they need.
So what are we to do while they hash it out in smokeless rooms? Prospect suggests a limerick competition.
Our initial efforts below. The best one wins a 3 month trial subscription to the mag, or a book of their choice from our heaving book shelf. Add your own efforts in the comments below.
(After WH Auden) As the candidates mournfully spun Death took the innocent young, The rolling in money, The screamingly funny, And a parliament very well hung. **** I went and voted Lib Dem There was a change in the air with them I put on my specs And wrote down my ‘X’ But we still got a Labour* PM [*Amend according to coalition taste] **** A vote that was difficult to call Announced in many a hall Only now Brown comes to see How easy coalition would be If only he’d lost his Balls. **** Clegg hints, and the race is now on For Dave to get spinning anon To say it’s all fine They’re willing to dine At the feast of the new lib-con **** Come, pull up a tactical pew There’s lots for labour to do But how, gentle reader, To choose a new leader Twixt Milibands one and then two **** A result of a different hue More confused even than ’92 Lucky for the left To have such heft Of not one Miliband, but too **** It’s midnight in Gordon’s poor soul The electoral system’s a hole To suck down his dreams Of power that gleams Now black as the dust on his coal **** Gorgeous George in Poplar and Lime Had a simply marvelous time He sent out his spies, Told fabulous lies And ended up lathered in slime …….. In Scotland they’re morally tight. Don’t offer a swing to the right – They’ll swig from a glass And pucker their arse And shit their traditional shite ………. Now Mandelson’s man of the hour Praising the truths of PR He watches the clock As he sucks liberal cock And…