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There is a mindset I call Expatpolitik. It is an analysis of Britain gleaned chiefly from passing through airport departure lounges, stumbling across Jeremy Kyle on a hotel TV or reading the Daily Mail online from the veranda of your Andalusian/Provençal/Umbrian redoubt. Expatpolitik takes the form of a hell-in-a-handcart outrage, a sentimental yearning for a golden homeland of yore and a belief that all personal rudeness, prejudice and bad behaviour are justified expressions of the fearless truth.

Michael Winner, Cliff Richard, Sean Connery and Michael Caine are leading exponents of this doctrine and, judging from her latest book, “an irreverent…

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