"My friend is, I think very frightened of ideas that might undermine her belief system,"by Anna Blundy / July 14, 2016 / Leave a comment
Published in August 2016 issue of Prospect Magazine
I was having coffee with a friend the other day and said I had to go because I had patients to see. “Oh,” she said, wincing. “I’d forgotten you do that.” This was odd in itself, because for years I must have been avoiding talking to her about psychoanalytic theory for fear of offending her (it’s normally very difficult to get me off the subject) or, rather, for fear of her offending me. Then I saw her face light up as a “joke” leapt into her mind. “Amazing that you can dole out advice when you can’t sort your own life out!” She laughed, relieved to have wrapped the subject up so satisfactorily. I tore the edges off a packet of sugar and wondered whether or not to bother.
A textbook error, but I bothered. “Um, it’s not about advising anyone. Friends can easily do that. It’s about thinking together to understand someone. For example, if you repeat patterns over and over again and don’t know why. Like people who say they’re always attracted to bastards? And then we try to look at the unconscious meaning…” I trailed off. “Hey,” she said, raising her hands in surrender as if I’d been explaining that selling guns to children was a decent living. “I respect people’s work. If someone pays you to do that, good for you.”
It was a startling reaction. Simply: “I’m not interested in this.” People quite often say: “I don’t believe in Sigmund Freud.” I usually reply: “He existed, I assure you. There’s even video evidence.” But those people want to have a discussion. They’ve read some Freud (or not) and have decided he was a misogynistic cocaine addict who set up a personality cult. I enjoy this argument and it is, at a…