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If I ruled the world

Too many people just don’t know how to behave—or how to use words properly. Fines, jail and shoe-shining duty await them all

By Terry Eagleton   June 2011

If I were chief executive of the cosmos, the following individuals would be abolished: Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Dick Cheney, Henry Kissinger, Tony Blair, Prince Andrew, Piers Morgan, the BBC’s Ben Brown for his nauseating right-wing bias in reporting a student demo, and Robert Kilroy-Silk (who seems to have abolished himself, thus saving the state the trouble and expense). Brief custodial sentences would be handed out to anyone caught using the following clichés: at the end of the day, over the moon, level playing field, no probs, going forward, pushing the envelope, in the wrong place at the wrong time,…

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