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If I ruled the world

Britons should be banned from speaking English and made to use another language: French, Gaelic—or perhaps even Pictish

By Viv Groskop   December 2010

Ah that’s more like it. Photo: Lee Jordan

Someone must put a stop to the global domination of the English language. Its position is unjustified—English is not beautiful to hear, nor is it an easy tongue to learn. Everyone thinks that Russian, for instance, is difficult—but it operates on a “see it, say it” principle where you sound out every letter in a word. Try doing that with “cough” or “laugh.” Even Americans struggle to ask the way to Leicester Square.

It is high time, then, for revolyutsiya. (See, that was easy to pronounce, wasn’t it? Not a silent vowel…

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