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Modern manners

Jeremy Clarke has a dramatic bowel movement in an embarrassing place

By Jeremy Clarke   July 1998

At the beginning of May, when the weather turned warm and the blossom came out, I had to leave my handsome riverside letting and find somewhere else to live. I couldn’t afford to stay there in summer-not at those prices.

When I handed over the key to the estate agent who managed it for the absentee owner, she asked me whether I had yet found anywhere else to live. I said I hadn’t. She said: well, we’ve got a couple of empty properties for rent on our books at the moment, both within a two minute walk, why didn’t I…

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