A decade ago I used to amuse Prospect readers with tales from my parents' residential home for the elderly. All the residents are now dead and I've had a wobble

She's mustard

Jeremy joins a television writing course in the hope of turning his sitcom idea into a money-spinner

Is this the end of the world? All my friends are dying, and Fergal Keane's sanctimonious voice drones in the background.

Miss Scattergood was a big hit at the old people's home, but then the silly cow went and died.

While browsing at Ron's second-hand bookshop, be careful not to tread on the sleeping tramps

Jeremy quizzes a group of mentally handicapped men and women about Glenn Hoddle's downfall

Every village used to have a church and a pub. Now it has an all-night BP garage and a massage parlour

If you see a famous person on a train, you should approach them only in the buffet queue

Literary festivals are one of Britain's growth industries. Jeremy, with a bit of help from the Almighty, is good at them