Time for some lessons in British history—from the Frenchby Chris Patten / April 24, 2012 / Leave a comment
Published in May 2012 issue of Prospect Magazine
What do you mean, “If?” All its more extreme critics know that the BBC already rules the world. So as chairman of this Trotskyist conspiracy, sedulously dedicated to a Stakhanovite work plan to undermine western civilisation, my dominion is already assured.
But just in case you don’t buy this deranged version of events, let’s imagine that the “if” is for real, and that my dynasty doesn’t open its account until next Monday. What can you expect of Patten’s world rule?
An early capitulary will be issued from my south-west London bunker introducing a prohibitive tax on the ownership of Chelsea Tractors by those who only ever use their 4×4 SUVs for driving on tarmac roads. A few Saturday mornings ago, driving to the local farmers’ market in my suburb (where else would I be going?), I counted 26 of these wretched environmental criminals in the space of about a mile. “From Playground to Stomping Ground” as the Toyota Sequoia advertisement used to put it. So from SW13 kerbside to scrap heap.