The first question came from Charlotte Leslie (Cons, Bristol North West). Does the PM agree, she asked, that the best way to celebrate the 65th birthday of the NHS would be to strip away the culture of secrecy that has surrounded it hitherto? "Absolutely right," replied the PM. It is the role of the NHS to be "on the side of the patient," he added, noting that the Chief Inspector of Hospitals, a role created by the government, was only helping in the achievement of this end.
Edward Miliband, the Leader of the Opposition, then stood up. There was a loud roar, one half approval (his own benches), one half derision (the benches opposite). The question he put changed the atmosphere of the House instantly, as it concerned Egypt. What is being done to guarantee the safety of British nationals? The Prime Minister replied that everything possible was being done to protect British nationals in Egypt, and to ensure the safety of staff at the British Embassy. The level of violence in the country is "appalling," said Cameron. He also said that it was important not to support one side or another, but a peaceful process.
Miliband then asked what negotiations were under way, and the PM reminded the House that President Obama had been in contact with President Morsi. Democracy, said the PM, should involve everyone having a voice.
Miliband then asked about primary schools, at which, the noise in the House began once more to build. Britain will need 240,000 more primary school places by 2014, said Miliband. Can the PM assure the House that this number will not be accommodated simply by increasing class sizes?
When the PM replied that 500,000 school places were announced in the recent Spending Round, Miliband retorted that class sizes had doubled on Cameron's watch. Added to which, he said, one third of the new schools that are being built will be in areas where "there are already plenty of places."
Cameron answered in his preferred manner, which is by reminding all present, and watching on television, of the ghastly economic inheritance from the last Labour government. "This government has built 200 new schools since taking office," said the PM, before going on to suggest that Miliband's objections to his schools programme were all "code for Labour's opposition to Free Schools." He then suggested that the leader of the opposition was simply relaying "questions written by Len McCluskey of Unite." The House roared. Deafening.
Through the noise, Miliband quoted some Tory who had said that in his area, schools were "literally falling down," (perhaps an injudicious use of the word "literally"). So isn't the PM, by building more schools in areas that already have a surplus of places, going to condemn children to being taught in "portacabins," in swollen classes?
To this, the PM replied that Miliband was now effectively "taking his script from the trade unions," which he suggested have "taken control of the Labour Party." The pattern, alluded to earlier, was by this point beginning to manifest itself.
"I'm speaking for parents up and down the country," said Miliband, resorting to the great book of political cliche, and picking out one of the very worst. Perhaps it was this, or maybe the noise, that brought the speaker into the fray, asking for calm and less heckling. Standing once more, and warming to his theme, Miliband then scored some rather sharp hits, reminding those present that the prime minister had given tax breaks to his "Christmas Card list," and had brought Andy Coulson to the heart of Government. Accusations of Labour having inappropriate relations with backers "takes double standards to a whole new level."
"He goes up and down the country speaking for Len McCluskey," said the PM angrily, a line that drew deafening roars from all sides. "I know you're paid to shout for Unite, but calm down a bit," said Cameron among the mooing, and it was not clear whom he was addressing. The target of his next comment however, was clear. "Too weak to stand up to the unions... certainly too weak to run the country."
There then followed questions about crime, and Government plans to cap spending on care. Geoffrey Robinson (Lab, Coventry North West) then asked whether in future the government will keep its hands off RBS. Since Steven Hester was ousted as chief executive—the implication was that the Chancellor, George Osborne was behind it—the bank has lost £4.5bn in value. The PM replied, saying he realised that the Honourable Gentleman "has experience in lending money," and at this the House collapsed into such a puddle of giggles and thigh-slapping that the rest of the answer was lost. Robinson once lent money to Peter Mandelson in an arrangement that did not end well.
Another question won a reply from the PM about Unite. David Nuttall (Cons, Bury North) then asked about the Government's new Employment Allowance, to which the PM said "you can walk down any High Street," and see its effects. Does the PM really spend time on the nation's High Streets? Does he get out of an afternoon to visit his local Tesco Metro?
A question about the Rotarians and their role in the Big Society project was turned, somehow, into an attack on Unite. And when Thomas Docherty (Lab, Dunfermline and West Fife) put a question, the PM answered by simply pointing out that the honourable member was a recipient of Unite funds. More questions followed about the NHS—it should be "national, not international," is a phrase that will be heard repeatedly in days to come. A question about the present scandal engulfing the Labour Party in Falkirk was put from the Government benches, but dismissed sharply by the Speaker, as it concerned party and not Government business. "Complete waste of time," shouted the Speaker, whose comments always win a mixed reception from Government benches.
Proceedings came to a close shortly after.
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