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fiction

How to be an expat

  20th January 1999  —  Issue 37
I thought you were only going for one year, says your mother

Go to America. You love the books, the TV shows, the movies. Tell people you’re tired of being a tourist and you want to live in a foreign country for a few months. You know, really live there. Tell your mother it’s what you’ve always wanted. Remind your father how often he said you should get out of England if you had the chance. Say, it’s only a master’s degree. One year.

Pack two suitcases and give your guitar to a friend who plays it better than you anyway. Give away your TV and tennis racket. Sit in the pub on your last night home and wish for any excuse-fire, flood, earthquake-not to go.

At Heathrow your father slips you $500 in cash that he’s changed at the bank that morning. Then he warns you to look out for muggers. Give them the money, he says. Everyone has a gun over there. Your mother wants to make sure you’ve got your tickets and your passport. You say, yes. She makes you show them to her. You are an only child and sometimes you think your family takes this to mean you’re only a child.

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